ECDA Halloween Party!
Come Join us for our ECDA Halloween Party!
Monday GroupS- Oct. 29th
Thursday GroupS- Oct. 25th
Tuesday GroupS- Oct. 30th
Wednesday GroupS- Oct. 31st
Don’t forget to bring your babies/toddlers in a costume and we will be going trick or treating. Don’t forget your camera!
Contact us at 323-655-5580 for more information.
6 Stages for Moral Development
Learning to be honest is a long-term process, and it is just the beginning at age six. The child has lessons to learn as he/she struggles with wishful thinking and the desire to change the world to be the way he would like it to be. Imagination and fantasy are important at three and four – even at five – for enlarging a child’s world. As he tries to bring about his/her dreams he uses make-believe, even lying and stealing if he must.
How does a child learn that lying and stealing are not acceptable? What will motivate him to comply? He will learn most from modeling on his parents’ morals and from their values, and his reward will be their approval and the thrill of being just like them. Meanwhile, parents feel great pressure to help their children take these important steps in their moral development. To help us, Kohlberg has given us six stages of moral development:
1. Avoiding punishment: “I won’t lie or steal because I might get into trouble”; or, “My parents tell me I can’t lie, and they’ll be angry if I do.”
2. Doing right for self-serving reasons: “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.”
3. Pleasing others and fitting in: “I didn’t mean to do it” means a child knows what he should have done.
4. Doing one’s duty: “Rules are rules. Everyone has to follow them.”
5. Reaching consensus: “We can agree on rules that serve us all, and we can stick to them.”
6. Acting on principles to satisfy one’s own conscience.
The development of morality is a long-term process, and many adults continue to grapple with it even in adulthood. Most child development specialists believe that the majority of growth in this area occurs between the ages of six and twelve; however, many believe that growth continues into adolescence and even young adulthood.
A parent who says, “I love you, but I don’t like to hear you lie,” is still facing the child with the responsibility for having lied while implying that the child can do better. This is a good parental response.
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT
Grandma’s Visit to Houston with her Favorite Developmental Toys
Grandma’s Favorite Developmental Toys
Marilee just returned from her visit to Houston where she delivered her favorite developmental toys to her newest grandbaby, Olivia. Olivia is the 3 month old daughter of Marilee’s son, Jeremy Hartling and his wife, Marisa. Olivia is their first baby.
One of Marilee’s favorite toys for this early age is the soft chime garden flowers set made by Lamaze. The colorful flowers have smiling faces in them that light up, chime, and play songs at the touch of a baby’s hand. The best thing about this toy is that the chiming noise and songs are soft and pleasant. Marilee’s favorite toys come from the Pump Station, Holllywood, California.
Olivia is very interested in the Chime Garden Toy!
4 Good Things About This Developmental Toy
1. It encourages baby to reach, tug, and bat which develops hand-eye coordination
2. It awakens baby’s auditory awareness through music and chime
3. It promotes tactile exploration through crinkle, ribbons, and fun textures
4. It can be used both at home and on the go because it attaches easily to a stroller or carrier
Grandma Marilee really enjoyed her visit to Houston. She loves playing with Olivia and can’t wait to see her again!
by Marilee Hartling RN, MFT
The Magic of Cause and Effect
Around the age of six months babies begin to sit on their own, allowing them to free up their hands for exploring. Before you know it they are reaching and grasping. Once movements become more purposeful they discover cause and effect. Toys such as this pop up pictured, give children a chance to learn how objects work and help make the cognitive connections between their actions and consequences. Children also gain a better sense of self-awareness and control over their environment. Musical instruments are also a great way to introduce cause and effect.
BPA Controversy
BPA
What is BPA?
Bisphenol-A is a compound used to make plastics hard, coat paper, and to line cans and lids of food and drink products. It was originally developed to be a synthetic estrogen.
Why should I choose BPA free products?
Although there are no studies that show BPA is harmful to humans, the National Toxicology Program has expressed concern over its potential effects. Animal tests have shown that BPA disrupts the endocrine system. It affects the development of the brain, reproductive system, and immune system.
How to Avoid BPA
Check the recycling number on the bottom of plastic products.
– Plastics are numbered 1-7. 1, 2, 4, and 5 are considered safe. 3, 6, 7 contain BPA, Phthalates, and Styrene. Discard scratched plastic bottle, cups, or containers.
– Scratches harbor germs and may release small amounts of BPA.
Do not use extreme heat.
– Heat can increase the amount of BPA transferred to liquid and food.
– Only put containers marked “Dishwashers Safe” in the top shelf of the dishwasher.
– Use porcelain, glass, or stainless steel for hot items.
– Do not use the microwave to sterilize plastic, even BPA free products.
– Use warm, not hot, water to clean plastic products. Hot water is defined as water that is boiling or water from the faucet that produces steam.
– Occasional, no daily or weekly, use of steam sterilization is preferred as BPA is less likely to leak into steam rather than liquid water.
Use powder formulas.
– Some people are recommending the use of liquid formulas sold in cans have small amounts of BPA due to the lining used in the packaging.
By
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT & ECDA Staff
Mindful Parenting
Mindful Parenting
Mindful Parenting is about developing and deepening the parent-child connection by intentionally bringing focused awareness to everyday parenting situations. According to Daniel Siegal, author of Parenting From the Inside Out, this approach to parenting enables children to experience the full presence of their caregivers. It is a way of being attuned, parent-to-child, that fosters resilience and emotional intelligence. Mindfulness can also be thought of as having a sense of security as a parent. Research shows that the parent’s “state of mind” is the best predictor of how their offspring turn out in terms of their own attachment or capacity for close, caring relationships.
Children who feel connected to their parents:
- Have healthy self-esteem
- Do better in school
- Feel comfortable around adults
- Develop a positive self-concept
- Explore and try new things
- Have an easier time with change
- Choose healthy relationships
5 Exercises in Mindful Parenting
1. Be mindful of your expectations of your children and reflect on whether they are truly in your child’s best interest. How you communicate those expectations is also of great importance.
2. Try to see things from your child’s point of view, purposefully letting go of your own now and then. This will foster a deeper understanding of your child as well as a deeper connection.
3. Apologize to your children when you have betrayed a trust in even a little way. However, be mindful of being “sorry” too often. It can turn regret into a habit if you are saying it all the time.
4. Practice altruism, putting the needs of your children above your own whenever possible (your children’s needs are different from their wants)
5. Continue growing in self-knowledge and awareness. Taking classes, reading books, and talking with experts can increase your understanding of both yourself and your children.
Excerpted from Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting (1997) by Myla Kabat-Zinn and Jon Kabat-Zinn. , Mindful Parent Happy Child: A Guide to Raising Joyful and Resilient Children (2001) byPilar M. Placone, Ph.D. & Parenting from the Inside Out (2004) by Daniel Siegal.
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT and ECDA Staff
Benefits of Art Making
This week was EDCA’s Art Camp with Erin Mckeen, LMFT, ATR!
Art making with children is a fun and exciting way for the child to learn and grow. In art making the child’s inner world of images, feelings, thoughts, and ideas are always of primary importance to the experience. Art making can be encouraged and supported by an adult “helper” who can assist the child in exploring and mastering difficult materials and finding new ways to express themselves using the art supplies. By helping the child give the art product personal meaning (i.e. finding a story, description, or meaning) the adult is able to support the child’s exploration of both materials and narratives about the art products created.
benefits of art making
- Art products provide visual evidence of the course of development over time: Artwork can provide a visual representation of the child’s stages of development that can be reviewed over time.
- Art making enhances social skills: Cooperation, respectful communication, taking turns, following directions, tolerating frustrations and making compromises are some of the pro-social skills that are practiced during the art making process.
- Problem solving with the materials helps to develop creative faculties needed for problem solving in life: Successful problem solving contributes to feelings of self-efficacy, builds self-esteem and self-confidence.
- Art making assists self-regulation. Art making can relieve anxiety and help children learn ways to self-regulate by engage in a positive way with their environment.
- Art making facilitates externalization of emotional expression in healthy ways. Art making provides a method of non-verbal communication that is very effective for expressing emotions and experiences, which are not easy to convey in words.
- Art making Facilitates play, experimentation, and positive risk-taking: Art provides an age appropriate form of play for children. Art making encourages experimentation and positive risk taking by allowing the child an opportunity to discover new things through the creative process.
- Contributes to self-esteem building, self-efficacy, empowerment and mastery. Art making helps the child develop an experience of inner satisfaction rather than external approval. Helping the child learn to trust themselves and find satisfaction in their own accomplishments.
Tips for Happy Siblings- Part 2
6. Be open to sibling’s feeling
Older sibling needs a little extra attention, extra guidance, extra reassurance, little extra love.
Your child will need to express both positive and negative feelings.
“Two big feelings”
It’s natural for a sibling to feel proud and loving and, at the same time, jealous and angry.
7. Stay positive
Do “parental marketing” to promote sibling harmony. Emphasize how much the baby likes the older sibling. “Look how happy she gets when you play with her.”
You may think the older sibling would be thrilled to have gained a live-in friend, but children are often preoccupied with what they’ve lost.
When you are busy attending to the baby talk to the older child. When nursing, read a story or play a game.
Use the term “special time.”
Arrange one-on-one outings for the older sibling…..especially with Dad.
Special trips to park, ice cream store, etc. help him realize that even though he has lost some time with mom, he gets more special time with Dad, grandparents, other care givers.
Accept regressive behaviors (thumb-sucking, clinging) these are temporary.
8. Begin the day in harmony. It’s like an investment in the rest of the day.
If possible, start most days with “special time” with toddler. 20 minutes of special cuddle time can ward off angry feelings towards the new baby.
9. Raise sensitive siblings.
Nurture patterns of life-long friendship by helping them find constructive ways to be sensitive to each other. Learning to live with a sibling is a first lesson in getting along with other children.
Parents’ role in promoting sibling harmony is as a facilitator.
Sets conditions that foster a positive relationship between them.
Facilitate one of the following relationships:
1. Sibling in charge If several years apart, give older sibling some supervised responsibility for the younger one. This motivates the older sibling to care and the younger one to sense his caring. Even a toddler can gently hold and pat the tiny baby under supervision.
2. Sibling as comforter When baby is hurt, ask sibling to comfort.
3. Sibling as minister If physically or emotionally hurt, sibling “lays on hands.”
4. Sibling as teacher Child teaches a skill to sibling.
5. Sibling as co-worker Assign children tasks that require
cooperation and motivate them to work together.
6. Sibling as co-sleeper Children who sleep together at night, play more peacefully during the day.
7. Sibling as entertainer Humor the baby.
10. Set Limits
Give clear messages about how you expect your kids to behave towards one another before arguments become a way of life.
Head off fights at the first squabble…how siblings behave towards one another is the first lesson in how to behave in a group.
Ignore “smallies”…..address “biggies.”
Simply state the consequences and what you expect. Come back…if not settled, toy goes away.
Tips for Happy Siblings- Part 1
1. Make friends before birth.
Let the older child acquainted with the baby before birth. Show her pictures of a baby growing in mommy’s tummy. Let her pat the baby beneath the bulge.
Let her talk to the baby.
Let her feel baby kick.
Replay the older child’s babyhood by sitting down and paging through her baby photo album. Show her what she looked like at birth, coming home from hospital, nursing, having diaper changed. Replay her baby events.
2. Foreshadow baby’s coming and prepare for the separation when mom goes to the hospital.
Read books to prepare for what to expect. Talk about babies and observe babies. “When our tiny baby comes out of Mommy’s tummy, mommy will need to hold her all of the time at first.” A newborn has different needs and limitations…baby can’t play with you yet.
Attend sibling tour at the hospital. Make a book about the separation for preparation.
3. Include child in birth festivities and homecoming.
a. When you enter your home, spend your initial moments with the
older child.
b. Give the sibling a gift from the baby.
c. Ask visitors to give extra attention to the older child.
d. From the beginning, refer to your newborn as “our baby.”
Ask for help in planning special homecoming and other birth celebrations like baptisms and brit. Call your older child daily from the hospital. Encourage visiting.
4. Make the older sibling feel important.
Keep a few small gifts for older sibling for when friends lavish presents and attention on the new baby.
Be attentive towards the older child in the presence of the baby, so she feels She is still an important part of the family.
Let sibling unwrap new baby gifts, test the rattles, etc.
Don’t make any new demands on your toddler (such as toilet-training) during the 2 months preceding the delivery and postpone until after toddler has a good adjustment to new baby.
Give sibling a “job” in the family organization…like “mommy’s helper.” Notice good behavior…”Thank you for getting the diaper!” “Thank you for being gentle.”
Help with baths…drying the baby, getting a clean toy, etc.
When an admirer says “what a wonderful baby,” reply “Yes, we have two beautiful children!” Avoid starting a new preschool or moving your toddler into a big bed or different room just before the baby’s birth. If you’re going to make these changes, they should be done several months in advance so your toddler doesn’t feel pushed out by the baby.
5. Time share
What bothers children most is sharing mom with the new baby.
Children under 3 really don’t have the concept of “sharing.” It is unlikely you’ll be able to sell your child on the concept of “sharing mom.”
It’s unrealistic to think you can give equal time. A new baby requires a lot of maintenance so here are some suggestions:
Wear the new baby in a sling…this gives you two hands.
When baby feeds…read a book to sibling.
Sit on the floor…this increases your availability to a toddler.
With an older baby…sit him/her in infant seat or on quilt on the floor to watch you play with older sibling. This entertains both!
Baby’s needs come first even though your toddler can be persistent and boisterous.
Realize that because your toddler got what he needed as a baby…he can handle the frustration of waiting, an infant cannot.
Contact us if you are interested in our “New Sibling Class” and “2nd time Mommy and Me group” A series of special classes just for parents who are expecting a second baby.
Topics will include the following: Preparing your child for the birth of a sibling, handling the separation during your hospital stay, preparing a special homecoming, how to talk to your child about the new baby, tips for the first months at home, sharing a room, ways to include your child as a “helper,” understanding regressive behavior, what to do about your child’s “two big feelings,” and handling jealousy.
ECDA Summer Art Camp
A special summer group program for children ages 3 to 6 who would like to explore self-expression through different forms of art. They will experience art through paints, acrylics, charcoal, oil pastels, clay and much more! Come and have FUN!
Groups meet at:
8344 Melrose Ave. Suite 23
Los Angeles, CA 90069
Groups are professionally led by our Art Specialist, Erin McKeen and Child Development Specialists who provide education & promote healthy development and growth.
Erin McKeen, LMFT, ART
Meeting Schedule:
June 25th– 29th 3:00pm- 5:00pm
For more information or to register, contact:
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT or Ariko Yoshizawa, MA
(323) 655-5580 or info@ecdevelopment.org
“Sleepy – Time”: Gentle Sleep Techniques for You and Your Baby
Instructor Name: Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT, Infant and Child Development Specialist
Date: June 1st Time: 1PM- 2:30PM
Location: Pump Station Hollywood (1248 Vine St. Hollywood, CA 90038)
Ages: 0-12months
Class Description: Sleep, or more accurately, the lack of sleep, is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting during the first year of a baby’s life. The biggest hurdle is getting your baby to sleep through the night. “Sleepy-Time” offers parents a gentle, sensitive, baby-centered approach to sleep that speaks to the uniqueness of each parent and baby. This workshop will help you to have a better understanding of your baby’s developmental stages, sleep needs and learned responses so that you can work together to get the soothing rest you both need. Discussion focuses on babies 0-12 months.
Marilee Hartling is a registered nurse and sleep consultant who worked for many years in maternal-child nursing and led the “First Weeks Group” at Cedars- Sinai Medical Center prior to conducting groups privately. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and a child development specialist. Marilee specializes in working as a therapist with parents, infants and children from birth to age 8 in her private practice in West Hollywood. Marilee is the mother of 4 grown children and is also a new grandmother.
How to sign up for a class:
Please call Pump Station Hollywood at (323) 469-5300
For more information:
Website: www.ecdevelopment.org
Email: info@ecdevelopment.org
The “Tummy Time” Dance is a great way to get in 3 minutes of “Tummy Time” while having fun with your baby!
Ariko and I just finished our “Tummy Time” Workshop at the Hollywood Pump Station and enjoyed introducing parents to our fun ” Tummy Time ” activities. Parents who would like to purchase the CD that we use for our tummy time dance should go on line to www.amazon.com/Whaddaya-Think-That-Laurie-Berkner/dp/Boooo4SR1J and keep on dancin’ with your babies!
Is Your Child Ready For Preschool?
Introducing Megan Baker, M.A. and Positive Parenting
Megan Baker, M.A.
Marriage & Family Therpist Intern
IMF 68131
We are pleased to have Megan Baker join our team at the early childhood development associates. She comes to us with a rich and diverse background in educaton as well as therapy. She has an undergraduate degree in psychology with an emphasis in child development from Cal State Northridge. She has a graduate degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University. Megan was a classroom teacher with LAUSD for many years prior to becoming a therapist.
We are happy to welcome Megan to our staff!
Do you know that we Skype?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WuAUzaQa3KM
To book an appointment: Email us at info@ecdevelopment.org or call 323-655-5580
Consultation Description: Sleep, or more accurately, the lack of sleep, is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting during the early years of your child’s life. The biggest hurdle is getting your baby or young child to sleep through the night. “Sleepy-Time” offers parents a gentle, sensitive, child-centered approach to sleep that speaks to the uniqueness of each parent and child. This consultation will help you to have a better understanding of your child’s developmental stages, sleep needs and learned responses so that you can work together to get the soothing rest you both need.
Location: 8344 Melrose Ave. Suite 23, Los Angeles, California 90069
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT
Successful Playdates
Guidelines for Setting up Successful Play Dates
l. Make the play date short, especially in the beginning. A 1 hour play date is long enough. You can decide later to extend the play date as your child comes to know his friend and you see how the 2 of them interact.
2. Talk with your child ahead of time about sharing. Help him to decide which toys he will share on the play date and which ones he does not want to share. Make sure that the toys he does not want to share are put up and away before the play date begins. Remind your child that the toys that are left will be shared with his friend when he comes over to play.
3. Have a plan ahead of time about the activities that will be offered during the play date. Share this plan with your child.
4. Discuss with the friend’s parents any concerns ahead of time and ask about favorite activities.
5. Be available to help during the play date. This assures a successful experience for both your child and his/her friends.
For more information, contact us at info@ecdevelopment.org or 323-655-5580.
Individualized Sleep Consultation Available
To book an appointment:
Email us at info@ecdevelopment.org
Location:
Early Childhood Development Associates
8344 Melrose Ave. Suite 23, Los Angeles, California 90069
Ages: Infants, Toddler, and Young Children
Consultation Description: Sleep, or more accurately, the lack of sleep, is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting during the early years of your child’s life. The biggest hurdle is getting your baby or young child to sleep through the night. “Sleepy-Time” offers parents a gentle, sensitive, child-centered approach to sleep that speaks to the uniqueness of each parent and child. This consultation will help you to have a better understanding of your child’s developmental stages, sleep needs and learned responses so that you can work together to get the soothing rest you both need.
Marilee Hartling is a registered nurse and sleep consultant who worked for many years in maternal-child nursing and led the “First Weeks Group” at Cedars- Sinai Medical Center prior to conducting groups privately. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and a child development specialist. Marilee specializes in working as a therapist with parents, infants and children from birth to age 12 in her private practice in West Hollywood. Marilee is the mother of 4 grown children and is also a happy grandmother.
For more information:
Website: www.ecdevelopment.org
Phone: 323-655-5580
5 Tips for “Positive Parenting” by Megan Baker, M.A.
5 Tips for “Positive Parenting”
On February 4, 2012. By Megan Baker, M.A.
Marriage and Family Therapist Intern
Early Childhood Development Associates
No matter who you are, and whether or not you’re engaged in a program to correct your child’s behavior, there is a great deal that you, as a parent, can do to reduce or prevent social, emotional, behavioral, and adjustment difficulties. These tips may seem to you like common knowledge, and you may have already heard the same information from numerous experts. However, we can all use a refresher course and a gentle reminder once in a while.
Here are five helpful tips for Positive Parenting:
- Instruct calmly. By modeling calmness and reasonableness, your child will regard you as a resource rather than someone to steer clear of. When teaching important lessons or talking about difficult issues, make a point to sit on the couch together or try taking a walk rather than trying to instruct during your child’s tantrum or when other children or parents are around.
- Listen to your child. Listening attentively to your child not only improves their self-esteem, it represents a healthy exchange that will help your child with interactions later in life. When children feel comfortable coming to parents to ask questions, the parent is considered an “askable” parent. Being an “askable” parent is particularly important because children and adolescents would honestly rather discuss touchy subjects with their parents than with outside sources like school friends or the media.
- Solve problems together. Become clear about your behavior goals for your child. Try making a list of all of the unwanted behaviors as well as their positive opposites, and work with your child toward the desired outcomes.
- Be generous with affection. Physical contact with your children throughout life is vital to their development, to their ability to respond to stress, and increases both physical and psychological comfort. A simple hug, kiss, or gentle pat on the back can also make praising your child more effective.
- Take care of yourself. Being a bit selfish in your daily life is actually beneficial for both you and your family. If you are too burnt out, the negative effects of that stress will show in your interactions with your children and your primary relationship. So, take some time to recharge and refocus your energy. Make a list of the things you enjoy doing that help you feel more calm and relaxed and post it in a noticeable place. Do these things as often as you can….your family will thank you for it.
Suggestions Summarized from “The Kazdin Method: for Parenting the Defiant Child” by Alan E. Kazdin, Ph.D.
For support with parenting and any other early childhood questions give us a call at the early childhood development associates (323-655-5580) on melrose.
5 Tips for Handling “Preschool” Separation Anxiety
Preschool Separation Anxiety
Preschool Age Separation Anxiety may be the most exhausting form of separation anxiety. Usually related to a new stress such as going to preschool for the first time, going to a play date without a parent, having a new sibling, or moving to a different house. This usually lasts only a few weeks. Preschool separation anxiety is common and normal. Children are in an unfamiliar place when they start a new school and they are not sure who to trust. In preschool, they have to share the attention of the teacher with all the other children. This is a very big milestone in a preschool child’s life.
5 Tips for Handling Preschool Separation Anxiety
1. Let your child know it’s okay to feel uneasy at first. (Normalize his feelings). Let him know he will be able to handle his feelings by reminding him of another time when he did just that.
2. Make a book or story about the change and read it to your preschooler ( check Marilee’ blog about making books).
3. Plan some extra one-on-one time with your preschool age child. (example: have your child pick his/her favorite game to play with you).
4. Develop a predictable bedtime routine. This is especially helpful when your child is having a tough time. It helps to show him/ her that there is order in her world.
5. After completing a planned and thoughtful transition with your preschool age child, he/she should adjust to being left at preschool without difficulty. Make your “good- bye” short and sweet. Don’t linger. Say “bye-bye” followed by ” see you after school” with a smile and a confident wave. Then leave. Prolonging the leaving will make your child wonder if there is something wrong. It will make him/ her feel anxious.
For support with separation issues and any other early childhood questions give us a call at the early childhood development associates (323-655-5580) on melrose.
Marilee Hartling, RN, MFT and Ariko Yoshizawa, MA
Announcing Our First Recording Session
We recently traveled to Ray’s recording studio with our Wednesday Toddler Group to record some of our infant and toddler group songs. Marilee brought her guitar. Ariko brought the children’s gathering drum. Evette and Genie brought the shakers and scarves. Our mixer, Reggie, winner of 8 grammies, was there to make sure we sounded good. Moms and Dads came along with their toddlers. Everyone had a great time!
Ray’s Recording Studio
Wednesday 10AM Toddler Group
Look for the release of our first CD soon!
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