Sometimes children just need a bit of encouragement. Being a bit shy is normal, but here are some tips to help your little one to feel more confident.
1. Give emotional support
2. Don’t always tell your child what to do
3. “Good job” is not enough
4. Effort counts
5. Help dealing with frustration
6. Dealing with shyness
7. Join a Social Skills Group
8. Compliment her confidence
1. Give emotional support
Learning to be confident requires successful experiences. When your child succeeds she will most likely take new risks in the future. Let your child experience new things. Let her overcome obstacles by herself. Be there to support her, making her feel safe to try.
2. Don’t always tell your child what to do
Show her the way and try not to control her. Building confidence is all about the effort. If you do things for your child, you will show her that she is not capable of doing it herself. Do things WITH her, supporting her.
3. “Good job” is not enough
Saying “good job” doesn’t actually tell your child what she did right. Rephrase it, emphasizing how she must be feeling. “After so much practice, you climbed this all by yourself. You must be feeling so good!”.
4. Effort counts
The outcome is not always what you’re looking for. The effort to get there is most important. Encourage your child to keep trying “I see that you are working really hard!”. This will keep her engaged and will give her enough confidence not to give up.
5. Help dealing with frustration
Instead of just jumping in to remove what is frustrating your child, help her deal with it. “I am sorry this is so hard”. If she learns to deal with her frustrations, she will overcome this feeling and will have the confidence to try again.
6. Dealing with shyness
– Modeling social situations
If your child is too shy, help her by showing how you would do it. “Hi, Amanda, I see that you have a new doll. She is so pretty!”.
– Don’t compare her to others
It’s ok not to like sports. Children who are shy may like to do activities by themselves. So, encourage her to do what she likes in a group. Sign her up for art classes, for an example.
– Ease your child’s anxiety for new social situations
Plan ahead. Let your child know about the upcoming birthday party. Give her details. A stuffed animal or a toy from home can help your child feel more confident and safe in social situations.
7. Join a Social Skills Group
Our “Little Friends Group” at ECDA is perfect for children ages 4 to 7 who need a little support in learning to make friends and navigate social situations.
8. Compliment her confidence
Tell your child how proud you are of her efforts. Children are always looking for grown up’s praises. Comment that she has built a new skill and how great that is. Showing her love and security will provide her a safe environment to develop self-esteem and confidence.
Written by Marilee Hartling & Paula Boscardin
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